So, I've been thinking a lot about Santa lately. Doesn't he live in the icy realms of the North Pole, surrounded by happy and hard-working elves? I have been giving the toys that Santa dropped off to my kids last year a good looking over and I have some disheartening news. Santa is now outsourcing his labor to places such as China, Taiwan, Mexico, and places I am not quite sure how to pronounce. It's true. I read it off the bottom of the toys. This leads me to wonder what has become of all of the elves?
I don't think my children have ever written a letter to Santa that involves a request for a true elf-made toy. Nothing handmade, just a whole lot of mass produced name-branded fads. I do, however, think that perhaps Santa now orders all the toys online from factories spread across the globe. Perhaps, rather than joyfully carving and hammering and painting toys for the good little boys and girls, Santa's elves are now spending long tedious, painstaking hours trying to untwist and untie and untape every annoying twist that is holding the fad-ish gizmos and gadgets to their packaging, to add to the ruse that the toys are actually being created in Santa's workshop.
Has Santa sold out?
Is he feeding the greed of this latest generation?
I have some more bad news, I fear that he is no longer checking his naughty or nice list twice. Indeed, he may not even be checking it at all!!! If the list is being checked, then how can he explain the fact that both Madeline and Zachary received a plethora of the latest and greatest from Santa last year, rather than the promised and oft-threatened (and totally deserved) lump of coal? Is he out-sourcing the list checking as well? Is their a country with a language where NAUGHTY can be confused with NICE?
Oh, Santa, what is the matter? Are you full of empty threats and enabling an already "enabled" generation? Can't you stop bringing gifts to kids who are naughty? Can't you just simplify? Can't you bring a few elf-made, solidly built, sturdy toys? Preferably toys that don't involve me cashing in my children's college savings account to maintain a supply of AA and AAA batteries? Preferably toys that don't flash lights, beep, or encourage unsavory behavior?
Oh, Santa, who am I kidding.... I am just as guilty as you are... We have a lot to work on to get things turned around. Since your elves most likely have already untwisted and untied each toy from their strangle-hold cardboard packaging, then we will gratefully accept the overly-generous offering you have for Maddie, Andrew, Zack, and Mylie this year. But, please, next year re-employ the elf toy-making department... Oh, and maybe leave out any sticky or melty candies from the stockings. Maybe just a few apples and oranges this year?
5 comments:
What a heart felt message to dear old saint nick! You are always so creative, Allie in your writings. Santa definately outsources, most likely with online purchases!
I think that Santa was under the impression that the kids at my house were in need of a lot of junk over the years. He must have thought that it was a good idea to spoil them with things that they would use for a few weeks and never touch again. I have written to inform him that my kids only need one gift this year. It needs to be something that they really want and if there are other things that would have otherwise been given to them - he is to send them to kids who have greater needs than ours! And no sticky candy here either!
Yeah, why doesn't he check that list twice? He DOES have a pretty simple job, I can't believe he'd mess it up. Especially since there is a song to help remind him of his duties. I wish there were more cute wooden toys under our tree too. Enough with the plastic already! Merry Christmas Allie!
I love this post! You should submit it to a local paper!!!
too funny, allie. i agree with jessie!
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