What the kids are saying lately

Here is a conversation that Maddie just had with me:

M: Mom, do aliens really abduct people?
A: No, they only abduct people on tv.
M: You mean they only abduct movie stars? I guess I don't want to be a movie star after all, because I sure don't want aliens to abduct me.

Yesterday Andrew asked me if he could have a pet talking parrot. I don't know what made him think of it, since he was just sitting on his bed then all of a sudden he asked for one. When I asked him why he wanted one, he said he wanted to teach it what to say and have it say everything he says. I told him we probably weren't getting a pet talking parrot anytime soon. He has settled for two pet spiders. They have been in different corners of my room up by the ceiling for about five months. He has named them Sherry and Gary. He thinks he's hilarious when he says, "Sherry, will you share with me?" I just think it is hilarious that he came up with those names for the spiders. You probably think it is hilarious that we haven't gotten rid of the spiders that have been in our room for almost half a year. No, it is not hilarious. It's just sad.

Zack likes to come up to me in the morning and say, "What's goin' on?"
He has stopped calling me Mom and refers to me only as Honey. He calls Andrew Zack. He calls Mylie Goo-goo, or just plain Goo. He calls Maddie by her name. He refers to his father as either Dad or Ben, but lately its usually Ben.

Maddie told me that she named one of her American Girl dolls "Sparkle." When I told her that wasn't a person name, but rather a good name for a dog or other animal, she changed the doll's name to Brooke. Earlier she named one of her dolls Jessica. She told me I should really like those names, since they are my sister's names. Or as she put it, "Mom, it is like having your sisters living with you all of the time, only they are not really your sisters, they are dolls and they look a little different."

Well, it is getting late here. My dad came over for dinner. He actually brought the majority of the food, which was wonderful. Then, after dinner, he cleaned the kitchen including scrubbing the floor with vinegar. Now if that's not service, I don't know what is! Thanks, Dad! Maddie is very excited to sleep in my room tonight, now that Ben's away. She also wants me to let the readers know that she did a really great job cleaning her room. Its true! Maddie really wanted me to add that exclamation mark. She's reading over my shoulder as I type this. (She just read that out loud as I wrote it).

I now conclude with the latest conversation with Maddie:

M: Look, Mom, my American Girl doll is sort of standing. She needs more practice. Look! She's standing by herself! Do aliens abduct dolls?
A: No.
M: Are you sure? How do they know the difference? Oh, I know! Dolls are solid and are not breathing. Are there really such things as aliens? Are there really space ships?
A: Yes, people from Earth have space ships and go into space. Aliens look like us, I think. They were created by God and put on other worlds.
M: I hope He created them for good. Wait a minute! Did you just take the Lord's name in vain?

Well, I'll leave you to contemplate that discussion...