Moms Say The Darndest Things

I am appalled by the words that have come out of my mouth this week. Not that I have said anything I shouldn't have said, I have just said a lot of things that I never in my life would have imagined myself saying (before I had kids).

Here are a few things that were said this week to various children who shall remain nameless:

1. Don't lick the car.
2. I'm sorry he's chasing you with sticky forks. Run, run as fast as you can and hide!
3. No, we won't be buying the $40,000 piano from FAO Schwarz even though you love it.
4. Stop licking the car.
5. Do you know where the toilets are in our house?
6. If you had gone to bed when I asked you the first time, Zack wouldn't have kicked you in the head.
7. That is not a hat, that is a wrapper.
8. You will eat it. You WILL eat it. EAT IT!
9. I don't care whose mess it is, I asked you to clean it.
10. The car is not food.

Zack has hit the terrible twos. I am putting it mildly when I say he is vicious. If we were living in the world of 'Gremlins', Andrew is Gizmo and Zack is most definitely Stripe:

In fact, I am nearly positive that I have seen Zack make that exact same expression. Creepy.

Last night, Ben and I overheard this coming from Zack and Andrew's room:

A: ZACHARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (then a very loud crash)
A: I don't like you, Zachary! (another crash)
Zack doing an evil laugh.
Andrew crying.

Who else raises a two year old that can already do an evil laugh? We marvel at his naughtiness.

He truly has mastered that maniacal villian laugh and does it at his whim, usually after doing something villianous.

Andrew came in not long ago to tell me that Zack had hurt him. Andrew was holding up his pinkie finger and telling me that Zack had hurt his thumb. When I explained that it was not his thumb, but his pinkie, Andrew responded with: "Yes, Zachary has hurt my pinkie-inkie-doo."

Mylie is learning how to sit up, which is very fun. She is also starting to teethe, which is the opposite of fun.

Maddie has started to go running with Ben in the morning. This makes Ben's morning runs a lot shorter. They've only gone running for the past two mornings, but Maddie seems to be really enjoying the extra time and attention from her dad. She was in our room bright and early ready to go and waking Ben up.