My New and Favorite Take on Mothering

I was reading one of my friend's blogs this morning and couldn't stop laughing. You have to check out her post on parenting: http://cannonsmith.blogspot.com/2008/03/reasonable-and-prudent-parent.html

Being a parent, and especially being a mother can create an amazing transformation in a person. I think that when you become a parent you develop a few super human abilities. Once, after a VERY unsuccessful outing with my five million kids in tow, I related to Brooke that having multiple young children can sometimes seem like you are becoming severely disabled and it is tricky to learn to compensate. Let me explain, because that sounds really bad the way I just worded it. On an outing with multiple young children, or even moving through the confines of your very own home, you can at any time lose use of both arms and develop severely limited use of your legs. Have you ever thought you could make it across the parking lot and into the grocery store with all of your children alone? For me, since my children are notorious for bolting into danger, I must carry Mylie and Zack across the street to the grocery cart. So, there go my arms. Andrew and sometimes Maddie feel it is absolutely essential to hold onto my pants pockets as we cross, since my hands are unavailable, thus limiting me from full use of my legs and occasionally causing deserved panic as I try to figure out how to keep my pants from falling off in the parking lot.

Have you heard people say that when you lose something to a disability, another sense becomes heightened to compensate? I'm not sure if that is true or not, however, I must admit that as a mother you develop heightened senses. I can hear a faucet turn on in the basement when I am up on the third floor and across the house. I have even on occasion heard the snip of scissors from several rooms away. Plus, I now have such an acute sense of smell that, if my children are involved, I can smell nail polish opening from several rooms away.

Today I had to call upon my superhuman mommy strength to get Zack into his carseat. We were in the grocery store parking lot and he was throwing a tantrum over my insistence that he must sit in his carseat rather than Maddie's vacant booster seat in the back next to Andrew. I have learned that on the rare occasion when I surrender my better judgment and allow him to ride in a regular belt booster seat, Zack has a tendency to unbuckle himself at inopportune moments along our route and wander up to see me as we are driving. One time, he successfully unbuckled himself and Mylie's carseat as we were driving, adding an additional 15 minutes to our travel time, since I had to pull-over and rebuckle everyone and give Zack a good scolding. Anyway, today was awful, because Zack was screaming his head off and crying and flailing and foaming at the mouth while passers by gawked in our direction as my own personal hell unfolded before their eyes. It was the kind of situation where I am trying to keep my cool, knowing I am being watched by strangers, and at the same time trying to summon all of my strength into shoving my possessed demon into his carseat. Zack is very good at the "back arch and slide" approach to escaping. I got his chest clip fastened and I'm trying to keep him from sliding out and strangling himself on the chest clip. Of course, as I'm trying to find that darn fastener at the bottom, he slides down and is strangling on the chest clip, so I am forced to unbuckle it and start again. In all it was the longest five minutes I have spent in quite a while. Still, I am hoping that it would fall into the category of Reasonable and Prudent parenting, because I suppose that a reasonable and prudent parent would recognize that safety comes first even at the sacrifice of personal sanity.

Another thing parenthood has taught me, is this equation: Telephone call (or person at door) + Mom + Kids = Magnet Mom. My kids could all be happily playing in various rooms of the house, but once the phone or doorbell ring they fly to my side and loudly drape all over me as I try to switch my Mommy Magnet mode into repel.

Well, I love being a mom. However, I sometimes feel very overwhelmed by situations with the kids. At least my kids keep my life from being boring and should we survive this adventure, we will have lots to look back on (or, as I first typed, "bacon") and laugh about.

Are you a Reasonable and Prudent Parent? It sounds so much better than insane and overbearing parent.