One of my favorite Maddie Christmas memories happened when Maddie was three. We were driving home from her dance class and I asked her what her favorite Christmas song was. She told me her favorite Christmas song was the dog song. The only dog song I could think of was the one about Snoopy fighting the Red Baron and having a truce on Christmas. However, I was sure Maddie had no idea who Snoopy was and they make no mention of the fact that he's a dog in the song. So, extremely puzzled I asked her to sing me the song.
With a smile, she burst out singing "Fleas, naughty dog! Fleas, naughty dog! I want to wish you a merry Christmas..." Yes, I must admit the 'Feliz Navidad' song does sound quite a bit like 'Fleas, naughty dog.'
This morning we woke up to our first snow of the season. Andrew was so excited, because he thought it was Christmas Day. When you are almost five, apparently SNOW=CHRISTMAS. Adding to his confusion, I made a cake (at Zack's request) and Andrew wanted to know if it was his birthday. Andrew can't wait until his birthday. Today begins the two week countdown.
Zack is still not feeling too well. He hates the medicine and always cry that we've hurt him when we give it to him. Tomorrow will be the one week mark since he had his surgery, so hopefully in a few more days he'll be better than ever.
This Friday night is our ward Christmas party. I signed up to bring a dessert. I've been trying to decide what dessert I want to take. This morning I decided to bring a cake that my mom would make around Christmas time. It is a yellow cake with a yummy white marshmallowy frosting and coconut. It may sound gross, but it is really good. My mom would usually put a fake poinsetta blossom on the top as a decorative touch. I don't know how to make the frosting. So, what thought popped into my head? I thought, "Oh, I'll just call mom and get the recipe." It was the strangest experience. It was like for a split second I entirely forgot the impossiblity of the situation. Sunday, December 2, marked seven years since I received the awful phone call that mom had died.
It still feels weird that the world didn't stop when my mom died. I know that my little world shut down and has not ever been the same. Tomorrow Brooke gets induced. I still feel anger that my Mom won't be here for special moments like that. Obviously, the anger is not at my mom, because we all know how much she would have loved to still be here. She was only 51 when she died. Far, far too young.
Seven years adds distance and dulls the pain, but there are still days and moments when all of a sudden I feel myself thrown back to December 2, 2000 and the days that followed. It's a strange paradox of feeling immense grief and yet feeling numb at the same time. I often wonder if time truly heals everything. I suppose that it is common for painful things to leave permanent scars as they heal.
Well, now that was a dreary turn to my post. Sorry about that.
On a brighter note, let me share two video clips that I just found. They're Maddie when she was three:
Maddie is saying the little monologue she made up and loved to say:
"So the other day I was at the mall and I saw the most beautiful blue dress and I just had to have it, so I got out my card and said 'Charge it!'"
Stay tuned for the BABY RUBY update....
6 comments:
Allie, I can't wait until I get home to watch the Maddie videos. I'm at my dads office with zero sound on my computer.
I'm not very good at desserts, but the one you described sounds delicious. I'm sure someone like grandma might have the recipe, oh wait Grandma mainly knows how to make 1. chicken and broccoli, 2. orange rolls and 3. chocolate chip cookies where all you have to do is throw them in the oven. She is great.
Right before Thanksgiving I thought I would just call mom and ask her a question... exactly the same experience that you had! Its weird huh?
Such a funny story about Maddie, too cute. Can't wait to see Ruby pics.
allie i have to say that when you sent jessie that clip about the blue dress a few years back, we watched it a million times. it was so funny. and, sadly, it might've just become our motto that year...."CHARGE IT!!!!!"
Allie-
I think you should definitely make that yellow cake w/ marshmallow/coconut frosting. Keep the Marilyn traditions alive. I think about your mom all the time & how much fun she was to be around. I love talking to you...you're so much like your mom, very patient, hilarious, and you remember the best stories including all of the fun details. I hope Zack gets better soon and that Andrew has fun preparing for his b-day. Those 2 videos of Maddie Pie are priceless.
Al, I have to say how impressed I've been with you these past seven years...stepping up to the plate and not only raising your own family, but being the "mom" of your sisters and brother. You're mom was so awesome and I know she's so incredibly proud of you. I love you, Al. And I laughed out loud at the naughty dog song! That's so so funny!
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